A REFLECTION…

For me, the last year can probably be best described in one word – exhaustion.

I have found being a mother over the last 12 months particularly hard and at many times, overwhelming. I had many many days when putting one foot in front of the other was all that I could focus on and even that was a struggle at times.

Paradoxically, at the same time, I have found my family
particularly gorgeous and have felt more content and happy with my lot than I have ever felt in my life. Life is rarely black and white is it?
For a lot of the year I felt a little trapped in my role as a Mum and at many times felt that I was barely holding my head above water. I felt like a single Mum most of the time and found the constancy of motherhood on my own utterly exhausting.

More recently though, thanks to a few changes in our life, some wonderful support from my extended family and friends and some big changes this year with my husbands work, I’ve managed some ‘me’ time and I have been able to focus more on the contentment and joy within the chaos. Blogging has helped too (best form of therapy!).
I still have my moments of course (quite regularly in fact), but more often than not I feel like I can push through, hold my head high (way above the water that threatens to sink me) and enjoy the ride with this stunning family of mine.
It has been reinforced to me over and over again in the last year, mostly in the most ordinary of moments, how much I am just where I want to be. I have been so blessed in all the areas of my life that matter the most to me.

This year, I want to have more tea parties and smell more snails and focus less about the state of my house and feeling like I’m never organised enough because, although I’m far from perfect, I need to stop focusing on the lack of perfection and see that actually I’m doing a bloody good job!

Bring on 2011!

What does the year hold for you?



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Comments

  1. says

    I couldn&#39;t have said it better myself. It&#39;s a conundrum. Loving them and trying not to wish the days away, but drowning in the menial tasks that can&#39;t be ignored. I feel like I&#39;ve spent the entire year only doing things with one arm! <br />So although this year has to be better budgetted and more productive, I have to lose weight and declutter… I also need to stop, enjoy and

  2. says

    Beautiful post Emma!! It&#39;s been a tough one!!<br />I started overlooking the state of the house and what others thought a couple of months back.. And can&#39;t even describe how much pressure it has lifted..<br />Happy 2011!

  3. says

    Oh yes, i was blogging this year to entertain myself while my husband was at war, it is constantly changing with family – children&#39;s ages, husband&#39;s jobs (mine is interstate &amp; back at war for the next 2 years) &amp; now for us, high school!! Organisation is the key &amp; also, completely OK to say to your children &quot;oh look, i forgot to get the ingredients for this, see, i&#39;m

  4. says

    Great post! And very well said too – knowing how lucky you are and rejoicing in that, but also facing up to the day to day drudgery of some of it can be quite difficult. Hope the year to come brings you all good things!

  5. says

    I can relate to a lot of your post – exhaustion, single mum syndrome. It&#39;s hard work and sometimes I just want to crawl under a rock. I guess we need to keep reminding ourselves of the big picture – healthy family, a roof over your head, some food on the table and a good laugh every now again. Anything more than that all that is bonus upon bonus! Note: the list does NOT contain gourmet meals,

  6. says

    Oh, Emma, a fabulous, thoughtful post. I&#39;ve had a similar one rattling around in my head for weeks. As well as one about battling with my perfectionism!<br /><br />Know you are not alone! We *never* anticipated how much extra work there would be when we moved from 2 pixies to 3.<br /><br />I am so delighted to have found you in the vast expanses of Blogland in 2010 – one of my highlights. Yep

  7. Justjanie says

    Good on you, Emma. Yep, gorgeous kids, great husband! and they sure are more important than the tidy house any day. Stick with that positive approach – it&#39;s a winner! SOOO well written, as always!<br />…… and those pictures of the family adventure! Love them!

  8. says

    I found this past year a struggle with my husband away for a great deal of it. But THIS is the year. I&#39;m not going to drown in motherhood or cannon off in the opposite direction by being a workaholic. Somehow I&#39;m going to find the balance. I wish you great happiness in 2011 x

  9. says

    I hear you FGB! Well articulated. It is like being drowned in love sometimes around here. This is the year I will get on top of things and reduce my &#39;cranky Mummy&#39; days.

  10. says

    Good for you Emma, I agree with a lot of what you&#39;ve said. Good for you that you have re arranged life to make it work for you better after all YOU have the most important job in the world.

  11. says

    Your post just about brought me to tears just now Emma!<br />I have had the fuckedest (sorry but I have) day today and I have no idea how any of them are going to get fed, bathed or put to bed. I just want to go into my room, close the door and let them fend for themselves. It is so hard sometimes and we are doing awesome jobs but still…<br />Thanks so much for this post, somehow reading

  12. says

    …just sending you loads of love…thankyou for all your blog has been for me in 2010 &amp; may this new year bring freshness &amp; fun (even if it is only every 3rd day!!!) TK xx

  13. says

    Being a Mum is one of the hardest jobs in the world but you know what you are a great Mum, one who loves her children and does the best she can and that&#39;s what matters the most. Have a wonderful 2011 full of great and special times with your lovely family. xo

  14. says

    That was a very lovely post! It&#39;s very nice to meet you (visiting you from Maxabella&#39;s blog hop)<br />have a great weekend<br />xxxCate

  15. says

    Written so beautifully and all sentiments that I can relate so well to, Em. I think I am guilty sometimes of merely being the organiser ofmy lovely family and not a participator. I am keeping a careful watch on that this year! Thanks for linking up. x

  16. says

    You know what…I will be really pleased when it is no longer fashionable to always be busy..busy..busy and recognise that we also can say that we are taking time out…and…when the word &#39;anal&#39; or &#39;perfectionist&#39; is not thrown around all the time too. Actually I don&#39;t know any perfect people and it is lovely to be able to enjoy being average at something or most things for

  17. says

    What a fabulous place to be in at the start of a new year. Some years just feel like one foot in the front of the other, but when you get through them you get the chance to fly in the next one. Great post!

  18. says

    Emma, I can relate to your post so much. This was especially true for me when my 3 were a bit younger and my husband works very long hours. Yesterday I was feeling as if I hadn&#39;t achieved much when one of my 6 six year olds said &#39;I&#39;ve done heaps today mum. I&#39;ve got dressed, had breakfast, gone to church and played.&#39; It reminded me to be kinder to myself and look at what I

  19. says

    Em, you are such an awesome mum and sooo clever and creative too. Glad you are able to have some more &#39;me&#39; time. Also think these photos are divine!

  20. says

    How are you going with this? You seem to be more in the zone this year -if your posts reflect your reality. Thanks for Rewinding – well worth a re-read for me (I haven&#39;t done well with the things I promised in my earlier comment!) x

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