A REFLECTION…

For me, the last year can probably be best described in one word – exhaustion.

I have found being a mother over the last 12 months particularly hard and at many times, overwhelming. I had many many days when putting one foot in front of the other was all that I could focus on and even that was a struggle at times.

Paradoxically, at the same time, I have found my family
particularly gorgeous and have felt more content and happy with my lot than I have ever felt in my life. Life is rarely black and white is it?
For a lot of the year I felt a little trapped in my role as a Mum and at many times felt that I was barely holding my head above water. I felt like a single Mum most of the time and found the constancy of motherhood on my own utterly exhausting.

More recently though, thanks to a few changes in our life, some wonderful support from my extended family and friends and some big changes this year with my husbands work, I’ve managed some ‘me’ time and I have been able to focus more on the contentment and joy within the chaos. Blogging has helped too (best form of therapy!).
I still have my moments of course (quite regularly in fact), but more often than not I feel like I can push through, hold my head high (way above the water that threatens to sink me) and enjoy the ride with this stunning family of mine.
It has been reinforced to me over and over again in the last year, mostly in the most ordinary of moments, how much I am just where I want to be. I have been so blessed in all the areas of my life that matter the most to me.

This year, I want to have more tea parties and smell more snails and focus less about the state of my house and feeling like I’m never organised enough because, although I’m far from perfect, I need to stop focusing on the lack of perfection and see that actually I’m doing a bloody good job!

Bring on 2011!

What does the year hold for you?



THIS SATURDAY I’M GRATEFUL….


Thought I’d play along with Maxabella today.
I do see blogging as a form of therapy and I thought it would be a good thing to weekly remind myself of the positives from the week past. There are more than a few negatives at the moment and I’m finding it easy to feel a little bogged down, but I would rather be a ‘glass half full’ kind of person and, as Maxabella says
it’s nice to pause to appreciate the things in your life that are positive and affirming, whatever they may be’.

This week, just when I felt I could barely keep putting those feet one in front of the other, a little ‘gift’ of time or sanity dropped down from heaven.

I am so very grateful for so very much this week…

- that earlier in the week (after I’d been up for 2.5 hours one night with a child who just would not stop crying no matter what we did and another an hour later who was vomiting from too much coughing) that our neighbours just popped in and took all the kids to the park for over an hour and then stayed and kept them entertained and saved the sanity of one exhausted mama.

- that the next night (after falling asleep with one of the kids at 7.30pm and dragging myself to my own bed when my husband got home at 9.30pm) that every single child slept through the whole night! (I’m not sure that I can remember the last time that happened!) The fact that when their father left for work at 5.30am I couldn’t get back to sleep is irrelevant.
- that yesterday when I ran into the back of someone (in my car, first accident I’ve ever had! and I burst into tears because of my current frazzled state) she was completely understanding and even gave me a hug – I ran into the back of her and she gave me a hug! Then I was even more grateful for my MIL who came over for the afternoon, in the middle of her own very busy life, to do my ironing, fold my mountain of washing and entertain my kids.

- that when I woke up last night (at 3am with an excruciating ear ache and eventually woke him up at 5am) that my husband had all the gear and expertise to work out the problem, painfully flush my ear from my usual build up of wax and give me drugs to ease the pain and antibiotics to cure the problem without having to get out of my pj’s or wake the kids.

- that this morning (when I spent most of the time vomiting from the pain of a middle ear infection) that it happened to be a Saturday and he could take the eldest 2 to work with him for a few hours so I could lay on the couch. An unexpected phone call from a lovely friend didn’t go astray either.

- that when we missed out on a free dinner at Grossi Florentino’s tonight (because I wasn’t well enough) my husband was very understanding and we ended up having a great chat about life and where it’s going and how on earth we are going to continue coping for the rest of this year with his ‘out of this world’ current work hours. He’s more than a good catch that one (despite those pesky work hours).

- I couldn’t end this post without letting my mother and sisters know how very much I am grateful for their help and support in this time where I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.

Sorry for long post, but I just had to get that out there. No point having you all think my life is all about baking and gardening or something…. heaven forbid!

Thanks also Maxabella for the lovely ‘cherry on top’ blog award that you passed on to me weeks ago – I am flattered and honored and might just not get around to passing it on, but I know you won’t mind. If you haven’t read her blog – you must, it is one of my absolute favourites!



P.S. I ‘m also grateful for flowers that just pop up in your garden without you having to do a thing and fruit dropped off by more gorgeous neighbours. Sometimes it’s these little things that give you that lift that you needed….even if your table is in need of a sand & polish.
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